4 beliefs that prevent you from being happy in couple

What you believe about love, relationships and your partner? Did you have questioned? What if the most basic beliefs, which have been so attached or clinging, and you've taken for granted, you are hurting your relationship?. Here highlight 4 basic beliefs and will use part of the Byron Katie, author of best seller "Loving What Is" and "I need your love, Is it true?" 4 simple questions to help you question your veracity and show how may be affecting your life in a stealthy but deep, and how to live without them can set you free and help you live a better relationship ...

Belief 1: I will be unhappy without you.

This is a belief that seems very innocent but can affect a very important your life partner.

And the first question I ask you do you have this belief, would 1) Is it true? All rely on honest, just with a yes or no. If you answered yes, ask yourself 2) Do you know that is true with absolute certainty that you will be unhappy without your partner? Let the answer emerges from the heart, let your mind open and responds with a simple yes or no.

Now I invite you to see 3) How you live your life when you have the belief that you will be unhappy without your partner? Can you imagine a life of misery and loneliness? Did you perhaps come past images or even movies or songs that make you believe that being alone means loneliness, abandonment, sadness? When you have this belief, they may cling to your partner, you force yourself to keep the relationship at all costs, to accept things that you do not agree, or not make you feel good. You do not say what you think. You may try to control your partner constantly, celarla, and keep track of everything you do to make sure you do not leave your side. This thought can create fear, stress, dependence and coexistence difficult.

Now imagine 4) How would your life and your relationship if you could not believe that you will be unhappy without your partner? It is very possible that you relax, you're more relaxed and confident, you accept that person can enter and leave your life and you'll be fine forever. Can you stop feeling the need to control it. Let you enjoy the duration of the relationship, hoping that you will enjoy life with or without a partner. Everything feels lighter and you're more open to life, and what might happen ... You feel you, more real, more open to say and do what you feel ...

Can you see the difference in how you would live life and your relationship with that belief, and without it? Can you see that it would be easier and harmonious when that belief is not in your mind?

Belief 2: Love is having what you want and have your needs covered.

Is it true? Do you know that is true with absolute certainty that if your partner loves you do what you ask or what you think you would need? I ask that you take time to respond ... you wonder if that really means love and respond with a yes or no.

Now let's see how it can affect your life this belief. To do this ask yourself: How you live your life when you think that if your partner loves you, do what you ask or give you what you need and not doing? It may bother you resent, getting close to him and will take away your love, you are constantly measuring their love, based on what it does for you. You might treat him harshly, bad mood, pressure or recrimination. How you treat when you have this belief? I do feel unsafe / a, you force yourself to do things for your partner do not want to do, you might, you push.

Now, how would you live your life and your relationship if you could not believe that if your partner loves you, do what you ask or what you think you would need? You may be more open / a, would be less demanding, more loving, would not need any of the other person, you would enjoy more than the presence of another person, without demand, without conditions, and you feel more free to act the way you feel, without feeling compelled to do things to feel. There would be more peace in your life and your relationship ...

If others do not cover your needs, is the sign that we have to do it ourselves ... Date attention, flowers, compliments, care, love, love that you ask your partner. Before you demand it, ask yourself if you're giving what you yourself, it is likely that you're not doing, and that you ask your partner is just a reflection of what you have to give yourself and do not 're giving ...

Byron Katie says, "Personalities do not love, they want something. Love seeks nothing, wants nothing, needs nothing, no" shoulds ". So when I hear people say they love someone and want to be loved in return, they are not talking about love.'re talking about something different. "

Belief 3: I need to win the love and approval from others

This is one of the most painful beliefs about relationships. Note how you live your life when you search for love and approval?. We are afraid of being alone and modify our behavior to gain the attention of another person and be able to get his love. We change our behavior to avoid rejection or criticism. By changing who we are someone we become inauthentic. Hide aspects of ourselves for fear that others will judge or dislike. We put on a mask and live in fear to discover who we really are. We do not want things to please others. And this is a very painful and exhausting to live, pretending to be who we are ... This belief leads to a false and stressful life.

Notice now how would you live if you believed that you need to win love and approval from others?: You could enjoy who you are, you feel comfortable, giving to others as you are, doing and saying what you feel in each moment. When we let go of a belief like this, we can let go of fears of being who we are. We are real, honest and relaxed in the relationship. It makes it easy to express love and be happy again, regardless of what others say or think.

Belief 4: My partner has many flaws.

What if I told you that the apparent shortcomings of your partner are both bother you a chance for self-knowledge? The others are a reflection of our thoughts and beliefs. Byron Katie says, "Once we start to question our thoughts, our partners are always our greatest teachers. There is no mistake about the person you are, he or she is the perfect teacher for you, whether or not the relationship work for you, once you start to question your thoughts, you start to see this clearly.

There is no error in the universe. So if your partner is upset, either. If there is something about him that you consider a flaw, well, because these defects are yours, you're projecting those, and you can write, question, and liberated. People are going to India to find a guru, but you do not have to: you're living with one. Your partner will give you everything you need for your own freedom. "

To develop healthy relationships, loving and respectful is required to identify those beliefs we have about love, relationships and your partner and dissolve these judgments and beliefs. For this you can use the process of Byron Katie, 4 simple questions can help you rid of those beliefs that prevent you from enjoying your relationship and especially your relationship with yourself. When you question your beliefs stressful your partner becomes a very important person in your path of self-discovery.