Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Robinjú Of The Pampas


A few rays of light from the moon filtered through the thicket of Mt. The scenery was a bit gloomy, but combined well with the appearance of Florencio Valiente, who wandered aimlessly wandering around the old pine forest.

Florencio lamented his wretched life, and cursed his friend hissed "the tramp" Ortuzar, who convinced him to put a farm woodlice saying that these little insects would be "the food of the future."

This had come to an unfortunate and very poor situation, after the new venture (and a life of laziness) will take you into bankruptcy. Indeed, the only thing that broke was the strap that held the roof of his poor ranch crushing the few possessions they owned. The idea of ​​putting the "nursery" of woodlice on the cardboard ceiling had contributed largely to the failure of the company.

For several days that circled the field without knowing what to do after losing his ranch, his company and China, who was buried under a ton of sheet metal, soil and woodlice. The truth is that preferred not to see the death of his wife and decided to run away, fearing that the Gumersinda survive the disaster and make him feel elrigor hundred and sixty kilos of angry woman.

That night, Florencio forces surrendered at the foot of a huge ombú that had slipped through the pines. Soon after falling down and in an almost unconscious, his senses were able to alert exhausted imminent danger. A loud roar of a lion suggested that he had followed his trail. Drew strength from that place that gets a tight ass fuerzascuando says he is in danger and joined to flee as a good Valiente. He did not stand up when he found that the roar was simply asking for something that your stomach to digest. For three days we had been feeding exclusively mate leaves bitter and tough.

It was in this extreme time of his sad existence, that his mind was enlightened with another stupid idea, its underfunded understand, would serve as the saving epiphany. He stood firm, inflated his chest and said to himself: "It's time to change course!"

Florencio knew he should stop wasting their lives and, for that would have to put into practice the teachings of his late father's effort to take advantage of others to have a long and healthy life. Driven by a new challenge on the horizon saliódecidido to the old road that would lead not only to the route, but to unnuevo destination.

Shortly after starting his walk, he felt again a few sounds that caught his attention. This time it was his ailing stomach. The sounds came from the distance. As a good trail guide of the area, supported Florencio ear to the ground to identify the source of sound, and immediately knew what it was. It was the passage of a young gray horse pulling a cart with three hundred kilos of cargo and enhanced Peteribí wheels.

Florencio came running quickly towards the path to get ahead of the car and assaulted by surprise, while he removed dozens of ants that had been taken from the ear while supported on the mound.

The carriage arrived at the ambush of Florence, where he expected his shirt trying to disengage from a branch that threatened to break. Seeing the pathetic image of Florencio curled up between the branches of the tree, the truck driver stopped and offered help.

- Shut up! - Shouted Florencio. - This is an assault!

The traveler's laughter did not wait. So grotesque was the laughter quepropinó the improvised thief, who ended up breaking vibrations that supported the branch Florencio. That was bad luck for the driver of the carriage, the branch hit his head and killed him instantly.

I've never been the intention of killing the poor man Florencio. But the damage was done and even sorry for what happened, he began to eat the big strawberry export cargo carried by the carriage, just to gather strength and to give Christian burial to the dead.

With the red mouth and a full belly, the involuntary murderer took a shovel and started digging. It took more than ten strokes to realize he was trying to make a tomb on a streak of hard limestone. So he threw the body of the car and left side of the road. After all, Florencio did not know if the good man was a Christian and not knowing the funeral customs of other religions, he preferred not to offend suscreencias.

After the setback, Florencio got in the car (which actually was an old wagon pulled by two Percheron wider than high) and decided to head a village a hundred miles away: Twisty Rhea.

It took just over three days to arrive, and as soon as the door was in the village, came another of his brilliant ideas. Rhea was a small town Twisty producer of onions and, as such, only feed them and the occasional hare hunting. When Florence arrived at the central square (and only), told an incredible story to lospueblerinos gawking around him for his wonderful load.

So then, the broken "bichobolitero" locals would tell who stole the tasty cargo to an evil corporation export of strawberries and that they would give to them to satisfy their hunger for anything other than the onion. Obviously, Florencio did not stitch without thread: small-town hospitality knowing soon he was surrounded with praise, gifts and a fire pit and eight hares consetenta barbecue.

After a few days to take advantage of the grateful ñandutences, prepared to move on, not without first ensuring that you give away a full load of onions. Two days later, would the people of Cururú Poop, which tell the same story as in the earlier people, but changing strawberries for onions. Again took advantage of the hospitality of the locals for a few days and departed with a cargo of local produce: fresh tuna.

So the months passed and Florencio tireless traveling from town to town while weaving a legend around him: the stories of Florencio Valiente, Robinjú of the Pampas ...

All remain so for some time, while the false fame enjoyed Robin Hood and the innocent people fed him and worshiped as a god. Until one day, tired of traveling, Florencio "Robinjú" Brave decided to return to his people to lie belly up paradisfrutar of the small fortune he had amassed in selling all the gifts he received.

Arriving at the entrance to his people, was stunned as the pauper sheet sign that welcomed visitors had been replaced by a huge neon sign that crossed access with a flashing banner: "Welcome to Guanacumay, National Capital woodlice" .

Somewhat dazed but with singular curiosity, retired Pampeano Robinjú hurried into the town and ascertain what had happened there. As soon as he went in for the village, the eyes began to get impatient. His old neighbors watched with a mixture of shock, denial and fear. When he was at the door of the shop, Florence under the car, but did not support the second foot in the street when it was released about three feet a terrible slap accurate. From the ground and still disoriented, could see the huge figure that was below him: his beloved Gumersinda.

As would learn later, the day he left home Florencio, became a large multinational to the people interested in breeding woodlice. Gumersinda, who had survived the accident with the nursery, soon learned to capitalize on the interest of the Yankees and made the little enterprise of her fugitive husband, a millionaire empire productive.

Are useless promises and entreaties when their spurned Valiente Florencio wife decided to take revenge. And although the company directory convention Robinjú not execute the decadent, a destination she knew him perhaps worse than death. Appointed him in charge of "quality control". And although the title does not sound like a punishment, Gumersinda & Co. was ranked the taste test of each harvest.

So it was that, over the years, the nickname of the Pampas Robinjú was blurred and stay in people's memory as "the man Guanacumay ball" or simply "the asshole of Florence".

END

Moral: If your wife debichos ball smashes a ton, check it really is dead.

Other short stories in: www.funeralalacanasta.blogspot.com

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